Batman vs. Superman

*Originally published on 3/27/2008




Batman vs. Superman. It's the fight of the century. The world's greatest hero vs. The world's greatest detective. Brains vs brawn. The debate has been raging between fans for as long as the characters have existed. I'm going to settle it once and for all.

Superman wins. Now don't get me wrong, I"m a Batman fan just as much as I am a Superman fan. There is no bias here I'm just looking at the facts. In a head to head fight, Superman wins. This is true even if Batman has time to prepare. Oh yes, I said it.

Now Batman fanboys are likely to point out one of two stories when "proving" that Batman wins this particular fight. The first is Frank Miller's masterpiece The Dark Knight Returns. We have to remember several things in regards to this piece

1. Batman was fighting Superman in a giant mech. Never in mainstream comics has Batman ever used a mech.
2. He didn't even really win. He faked his death, which we realized because Clark heard his heartbeat, however faint.
3. Frank Miller does an interesting take on Batman but that's about it. He has absolutely no grasp on what makes the other DC characters tick.

The other is Waid's Tower of Babel arc in JLA. It's a great read and Batman's strategy's are quite clever. I can even understand his reasoning for why he came up with these tactics. His strategy for taking down Superman though? Kryptonite. It's a different color and has a different effect then the traditional green, but it is Kryptonite nonetheless. This is really his only defense against the man of steel.

"Well Kryptonite kills Superman, why wouldn't that give him the win?" you ask. It's simple. Lex Luthor also has Kryptonite and he has yet to defeat the big blue. Bats is smart, but so is Lex. In the 70 years since the character's creation, there hasn't been an elaborate plot that Lex hasn't tried. The point is Superman has seen them all and still lives. He would find a way to get out of Batman's trap too. He may not be a great detective but he is no slouch in the intelligence department.

It's an odd double standard. When the Superman movies use Lex Luthor, people complain that Kryptonite is sort of hack. We've seen it before, give us somebody who can give Superman a good fight, an actual challenge. Give the same rock to Batman and all of a sudden he wins in a landslide.

Batman is a great hero and an asset to the Justice League. The fact that he, as a "mere mortal", can play with the big dogs and not get left behind is commendable. To say that he can beat the man of steel in a fight however is downright goofy. Supes has super strength, heat vision, super speed, and flight among other things. Batman has a small sliver of Kryptonite. Even before Batman could reach for it, Supes would've taken his utility belt, dropped it off ten miles away, and come back to clothesline Bats into unconsciousness.

Just like Superman said to Batman in the DCAU World's Finest movie "I knew you were crazy, I didn't think you were stupid". Batman's cool, you'll get no argument from me on that point. He even has a more interesting rogue's gallery but in the title bout, the belt goes to big blue.