Top 10 Lines from Tommy Wiseau's 'The Room'

Tommy Wiseau’s The Room is often cited as one of the worst movies ever made. It’s weird, there are plot holes galore, and a lot of the dialogue is just goofy. Add this to the fact that you have a movie that runs out of plot about 20 minutes in and just recycles the same conversations over and over again; and you have yourself the making of a cult phenomenon.

For those unfamiliar with the work of Mr. Wiseau, brace yourself because you’re about to embark on a crash course through The Room’s most memorable lines.


“I got the results of the test back. I definitely have breast cancer”

One would think that this is a major game-changer in the overall story arc. After all, terminal illness is not something you can brush aside easily. Except, this movie does just that; aside from this one line, it never gets brought up again.

Even when it is brought up, both characters seem incredibly nonchalant about the whole thing. It’s very peculiar. Lisa has at least some justification as she’s a self-centered sociopath, but her mother doesn’t seem too phased by it.


“It’s not over, everybody betray me! I fed up with this world!”

This is supposed to be a huge dramatic moment that foreshadows the grim ending as well as cements Johnny’s status as the poor victim in all that has happened. Only with the dialogue itself, as well as Wiseau’s bizarre accent, it becomes one of the funniest things heard in the picture.


“Ha ha ha, what a story, Mark”

This has become one of Johnny’s most well known catch phrases. For some reason, he finds the idea of a woman getting beaten and hospitalized funny. Do remember that this line is uttered by the character who is supposed to be the hero of the piece.


“No, I can’t anyway. So, how’s your sex life?”

One of the many, many abrupt left turns that occur in Wiseau’s script; before this, Johnny and his friend, Mark are discussing work when Johnny decides to make this inquiry for no particular reason. It’s even funnier considering Johnny was going on about how he can’t talk about his work since it’s confidential, and he follows that up by casually asking his friend how his sex life is, ridiculous.


“I feel like I’m sitting on an atomic bomb waiting for it to go off.”

This line seems harmless enough, but in the context of the movie, it sounds really goofy. The fact that this was uttered by a character who had not been seen before until this point certainly does not help matters.


“Leave your stupid comments in your pocket!”

What.

Of all the goofy lines in this movie, this one is the most perplexing. A lot of the other lines thrive on Wiseau’s accent or delivery, but this just flat out doesn’t make any sense.


“Keep the change. Hi doggy! Bye!”

The pet store scene has become one of the more infamous clips in the film, and this final line is one of the reasons why. It’s just all over the place. You can’t fault the guy for being an animal lover, but the line still sounds silly.


“You are tearing me apart, Lisa!!!”

An obvious pick, to be sure, but it’s earned its spot on the list. Wiseau’s delivery makes this a classic. He goes so over the top that even the character he’s talking to responds by asking why he’s so hysterical.


“You not good. You like chicken, cheep cheep cheep”

In fairness, this is a callback to an earlier scene where the line is uttered in jest; however, it’s far more notable for its use in the dramatic showdown when Johnny refers to Mark as such for stabbing him in the back.


“I did not hit her. It’s not true. It’s bull$#@%. I did not hit her. I did naaht. Oh, hi Mark.”

This, ladies and gentlemen, is the greatest line in the film. It has become the most infamous, and probably the most quoted line in the film. It is the movie in a nutshell and acts as the embodiment of everything that Wiseau’s work stands for and represents. His delivery here surpasses anything anyone has ever witnessed on film and cannot be fully understood unless it is witnessed first-hand.

This isn’t even the tip of the iceberg. Try as one might, one cannot sum up the experience of watching The Room in mere words. It is a movie that needs to be seen to be believed, if for no other reason than to see how lines such as these could ever actually work in a script.