Avengers vs. The Cloverfield Monster

*Originally published on 5/15/12



I happened to catch "Cloverfield" on television the other day. Now, granted, I already own the movie on DVD, but I decided to watch it anyway. As this occurred on the same weekend that "The Avengers", Marvel Comics' superhero team, made their big screen debut, a light went off in my head and I decided to have the two fight.

Of course, in Abrams' movie, the United States military throws everything they have at the monster to no avail, but the Avengers might be better suited for this sort of situation. After all, as Tony Stark points out in the film, they have a Hulk.

While the Avengers may not have a "big 7" like DC's Justice League, there are some core members who are seen as staples of the group. For an introductory list, we need look no further than the aforementioned movie. There, the team consists of Iron Man, the Hulk, Thor, Captain America, Black Widow, and Hawkeye. For added measure, let's go ahead and throw in Mrs. Marvel and Black Panther.

This situation is actually pretty ideal. With chaos erupting all over New York, the other Marvel heroes will have their hands full elsewhere, so there's little chance of people asking why Spider-Man, Wolverine (not to mention the other X-Men), or the Fantastic Four never bothered to do anything to help.

It should come as no surprise that Hulk will charge in first with the intent to smash. In any other instance, this isn't a problem, but here, it might prove to be the case. You see, the monster is covered in vicious parasites. Parasites, I might add that are in scale to the creature itself, which makes them appear almost as big as humans. Hulk could certainly take down a lot of these creatures, but if he gets overwhelmed, he could easily get bitten and those who saw "Cloverfield" know what happens soon after that.

Then again, Hulk isn't alone; he's got a whole team behind him. Actually, now that I think about it, taking care of those creatures would be the most effective task for many of the Avengers. I mean, Captain America throwing his shield at the monster itself won't do jack, but it could easily take care of the smaller creatures, several of them if he uses the ricochet effect. Same thing goes for Hawkeye, Black Widow, and Black Panther.

With the parasites taken care of, that leaves the matter of the monster itself. For this, the team's big guns get sent in. Hulk, of course, smashes; Thor throws down lightning and strikes at the creature with his mighty hammer, and Mrs. Marvel uses her own super strength and energy beams to dish out damage. Hard as it may be to believe, I'm actually going to put Iron Man in this group. His suit grants him flight and his repulsor blasts may actually do damage. If nothing else, he can draw the monster's attention away from the others. Should he see the cover group getting in trouble, he can quickly zip over there and lend them his aid.

While Clover may have been able to nonchalantly hand the US military their collective behinds, I'm not sure (s)he's got what it takes to go toe to toe with Earth's Mightiest Heroes. The creature is no pushover, to be sure, but I think that the Avengers would take this one.