The Worst Songs Ever Made

*Originally published on 9/10/09



3. I Never Even Told You by Tia Carrere from the soundtrack to Batman: Mask of the Phantasm

I picked up the extended soundtrack to Mask of the Phantasm through La La Land Records. Shirley Walker did an amazing job with the score for Batman: The Animated Series, and the same goes for this. However, there is one song that is non instrumental. It's a love theme that plays at the end of the movie. I'm not against love songs, I have Shania Twain's Still the One on my Ipod for crying out loud (shut up, I think it's sweet). This goes too far into sappy territory though. The rest of the CD is great enough that the song doesn't ruin it, but it's definitely the weakest track on the bunch by a wide margin.

2. Eyes on Me by Faye Wong from the Final Fantasy VIII Soundtrack

This is another song that goes way too far in an attempt to be sentimental. Spoony already ripped this song a new one and even went so far as to bash anyone who liked it or was even able to sit through it. I half agree. It's a terrible song and liking it definitely shows a sort of wussiness. That being said, being able to sit through it takes quite a bit of resolve. I say this as someone who was unable to sit through it. It's a serious test of willpower to sit through a song this bad.

1. Freaxxx by Brokencyde

This song is seriously one of the most atrocious things my ears have ever had the displeasure of hearing. It's really mind blowing how bad this song is. It tries to mix dance, hip hop, and metal and it fails at all three. Even putting aside the blatantly misogynistic overtones, the song's just terrible.

I don't really keep up with new bands. I have a pretty wide library of music, so I don't really need to listen to the radio. I try not to be one of those people who says that music sucked since 19XX or something like that. There are bands that I'm not a fan of that other people are, and that's fine; it's the beauty of musical tastes. Bands appeal to some people and not to others. It's natural when dealing with art forms of various kinds.

That, however, only gets you so far. If this is what passes for music nowadays, I understand why people operate on the assumption that modern music sucks, because this sucks. I find it hard to believe that anyone would listen to this. It's just terrible on every level.

More importantly, what the friggin heck is that pigman doing in the music video?! I mean....pig man! why? There's no rhyme or reason, just a guy in a pig suit. I demand explanation for this bizarre abomination in an abomination.

If you want to test your willpower against the ungodly horrors that lie within, you can watch the music video here.